These notes were taken by me from #TransformationTuesday on 7/20/22 from Prophetess Nicole K. Armstrong. I listen to her on Clubhouse each week. The information, messages, and session she provides have truly transformed my walk with Christ. I’m able to develop the spiritual gifts placed inside of me while gleaning all that I can from her. I will add my notes here so that others can learn all that I have and hopefully grow in their daily walk as believers of Christ.
Practical tips on How to live healthy every day! Going to another level in your person!
Visit with yourself. Unattended emotions can affect you.
“And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.” 2 Corinthians 9:8 NLT
We have a responsibility and we have to do our part.
In order to go to another level for yourself and our purpose:
1. Show/visit up for yourself, with self-love, self-care, and confidence.
2. Surround yourself with people who value you
Another level in your person, we have to be purposeful. We were created on purpose. We serve a purpose. Our life in the earth realm on purpose.
We are not called to everyone, don’t argue with people.
We were not called to everyone, but assigned to reach the people that God assigned us to and that he sends to us.
MY VOICE IS ASSIGNED TO THOSE THAT HEAR IT!🔥🔥
In this season, we don’t have to show up perfect, but purposeful.
In season, we are not worried about the shoulda, coulda, woulda, but concerned for those who do show up.
Check in with yourself, your thoughts, mind and spirit.
Take the pressure off and focus on what God has put inside of you (me).
Show up for yourself everyday! In confidence, self love, self care and purposefully.
Know who is surrounding you. You should sit with people who will value you, encourage and push you.
When you show up in your purpose, don’t worry about who did not come and focus on those that did. Your assignment is not to those that showed up, but those that God sends. People who will be a blessing to you and listen to what you have to say. You will be a blessing to them and those who will be a blessing to you.
*This week, visit with yourself. How are you feeling? How do you feel about that? How have you overcome that?*
Going to another level in our purpose and person.
Stop allowing people to shift you and push you to a place you don’t belong.
I am ready to go to another level!
We don’t have to push down or knock down doors. Every door that God has for us, he will open and it will not be a strain or stress for us. When he gives us the keys, we will walk through the doors he opens with ease and others will be able to benefit from the glory that we walk in with. God open the doors that you have for me!
Tomorrow, I should be able to return to work after a 2-week hiatus. Hiatus, I wish. We caught Covid and Amari was the last one to catch it. As adults, we took Vitamins C, D, Zinc, and Melatonin and were able to get over it in a matter of days. But that little one…WEEKS!! And being the single mom that I am, I had to take off work to care for my children. Covid got all of us and I thought I would get some help. I was fortunate to get two days (out of two weeks) to get some me time. Nope, went right to band practice. This was the longest that I’d been away from my band at one time since my maternity leave and the mountain of a to-do list was not going anywhere!!
Many of you know that I am a high school band director. The one that is in charge of all the bands, marching and concert and all the ensembles in between. The job of a high school band director is a lot. We have many rehearsals after school and football games almost every Friday during the fall. It’s hard for my colleagues who are married fathers. Many of them would comment after they had children that they didn’t know how I did it. I really didn’t know what they meant, eventually, I understood. A few of them have left teaching high school band in order to spend time with their children. Stepping down as a high school director may have been easier for me, but it wasn’t an option that I really looked into. I did what many single moms do each day and made it work. So as a single mom…it is only by God’s grace that I am able to continue to do the work that I do.
I knew that I wanted to be a teacher in the 1st grade and a band director in the 6th grade when my band director put my first flute in my hand. I thought, “I can teach this??” Sign me up! I’ve always been involved in music my whole life through church as my mom was the choir director, and dad was the bass player. My aunts, uncles, and cousins made up the rest of the choir and musicians. Almost as soon as I got my instrument, my mom encouraged and volun”told” me to “play for the Lord.” I did it (reluctantly might I add) and discovered that I am NOT the solo player. She wanted me to move and “feel it’ as I played and that just wasn’t me. And I was ok with that.
I do enjoy being in front of the band conducting. Rather on stage at a concert, or on the podium at a football game, I enjoy it. Through my experiences as a band director, I’ve also discovered other things that I like to do. I have been very fortunate to have the experience that I’ve had and that is all due to the village that surrounds me and supports my desire to continue in the field. There have been birthday parties missed or major band performances missed in the quest of reaching a work-life balance. I am still working on that part and making it my goal to give my family more or have enough of me to give to them when I leave school.
In each program, I’ve been blessed to have a band parent that was able to watch my children for me, especially once the seasons began to change from fall to winter. It all began with my parents meeting me in South Carolina to take Myles with them for the summer so that I could have summer band camp. Then comes, Ms. Shealy who watched Myles for me so that I could stay late for band practices and parent meetings. I am still close with her family and had the honor of having her great niece in my band for four years. Next, enter Ms. Tonya who watched Myles for me in her Aunt’s home daycare. After practice and on game days, I would bring Darius home and pick up Myles. Mrs. Candi watched Myles next and kept him for me late nights and during football games and sometimes even watched him so that I could have some Monica time. I had the opportunity to teach both of her sons at Arabia Mountain and she served on the executive board of my band parent association.
Ms. Vanessa watched Myles at his in-home daycare along with her granddaughters. I now have the pleasure of having her granddaughter and my college roommate’s daughter as band manager this year. John and Myra would take Myles home with them when games were cold or allow him to come over and play with LJ during district music educators association (GMEA meetings) or large group performance evaluations. (There could and possibly will be a whole post to the friendship and family that John and Myra have become to my family.) Mrs. Michele would take Myles home with her family on some Sundays after church to give me some alone time or invite us over for dinner. They became extended family and I was fortunate to be able to be the band director for both of her sons. Antonio would pick up Myles from daycare on Game Days and some practices, grab him some McDonalds and then come work with me on my band staff. Once Myles hit grade school, a band parent would pick him up from aftercare on their way to pick up their child from band practice.
Myles would be with me everywhere I went and learned how to entertain himself while Mommy was working. Concert band festivals, JanFest at UGA, battle of the bands, he was right there. He didn’t have a choice sometimes and grew to not want to go once he got older. I never forced him to want to learn to play an instrument (though I did strongly encourage him) and was so excited when he chose to play the saxophone. Going to auditions and concerts as a parent is the best thing ever!! Being on the other side provided more insight into the parent’s perspective as a band director. I especially learned the importance of letting the kids out of practice ON TIME!! I will miss one of my events to make it to any of his major events and be there to support him.
I thought that the next time that I had a child that it would be with my husband. The future plans I held of seeing him in the audience supporting me or writing music for my band and then coming to hear it live faded after the years of being off and on again led to being completely off. I know this is Atlanta, but I’m not down with sharing men, especially married ones. Once I found out that it was that type of party, I exited stage left. This was extremely tough because now I was a single mom of two that was a high school band director. How am I going to do this again?? It was supposed to be different this time around, that was the promise that was given to me over and over again. And boy was it different! I grew a voice that was always deep down inside me and used it quite frequently to express how I felt in this situation, how it affected my children, and how it was not going to be the same ol same ol with my youngest.
Broken promises of visits that never happened. Or when the visits did happen, they were in the company of other women, their children, and sometimes his wife. His family would also step in when he asked, but he tried to handle it on his own. After all, this light-skinned version of himself was not fully claimed as his son until about 4 years ago. He’s 14. I vividly remember a time that I depended on him, looking out onto the balcony of my hotel room in Chicago while attending the Midwest Band and Orchestra Clinic in a conversation checking on my son. I wanted to talk to him, but couldn’t. Why? Because he had a gig and asked one of his female friends that happened to be a nanny to watch my child. Someone whom I did not know and did not even know that was the plan had my baby. I was LIVID. But was told, you have to trust me and trust that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt our child.
How could he? I did not understand and to this day still do not understand how and why he did the things that he did. Making the child a priority was something that he said he would never do. He would never choose the child over his life and he has made that clear more times than once. (This is very difficult to put on paper.) My son was used as his companion on playdates with the other kid’s Mom. I found out that almost every person that was “watching Myles” he was romantically involved with. The psychological effect on Myles runs deeper than I will ever know. It materialized physically and I am so glad that we finally got that situation resolved almost 4 years ago. However else this materializes in the future, we will face it when we get there.
Until things blew up when I had Amari, I never spoke badly about him as a dad. Always left the door open for him to be involved when he wanted to be involved. He knew what I did for a living and that my family lived in Virginia. I needed him and his family to support me in raising Myles. He had so many convoluted stories about why they couldn’t help like I needed them to that eventually boiled down to the fact that he was still married and not divorced like he told me. ( I’ll save that story for another day. I know what you’re thinking.) I demanded that this time things were different and made sure that everyone knew that he was the father. I did not care how it made me look because this was a decision that he made. My choice to stay involved with him was not made on the truth of the situation, but the many lies that were told to me.
Things are not perfect now, but they are working. He picks up Amari from the sitter two days a week and arranges for his care on Fridays when I have football games. He also picks up Myles the same two days he picks up Amari and attends some of Myles’ football games. When he can’t keep them because of a gig, they are with family. I made sure that he understood that if I found out that they were around other women that I had not met, then he would not be able to see them. If he wasn’t consistently in their life, he needed to sign over his parental rights. My kids were not going to wonder where Dad is and why he didn’t come and pick them up. You might think wow, that is tough. I don’t care how he felt about those demands because my children are a priority and come first. Parents sacrifice, that is what we do. They did not ask to be brought into the world, especially in a messed up situation due to the decisions their parents made. With the help of God and our amazing village, my kids will grow up happy, fulfilled and know that they are loved.
After going through what I went through almost 3 years ago, I said I was going to write a book titled “You’re lucky I know Jesus.” Because of HIS grace and mercy, he is still involved in my kids life, I’m still in my right mind and didn’t snap and end up on Snapped. God has compassion and expects us to forgive others 70 times 7 and forget about it. There are times that I get triggered by something that comes up and have to pray about it to let go. I had a therapist during the most difficult times and need to see another one to help me navigate through this next phase of my life. I’m getting there every day as I have to die to myself daily and take on the mind of Christ so that I can receive all of the blessings that he has in store for me. I don’t want them to be held up any longer. It’s like I’ve been stuck on a roundabout that has kept me on the same cycle for years. I’m ready for the new direction that life is going to take. New careers. New home. New love. New friends. New, new, new, everything new, new, new, NEW!! (cue Tye Tribbett – New)
Yesterday, I had a little pity party before I got ready for bed. It was almost 9 pm on a Saturday night and instead of going out to meet my girls for dinner, movie night, or meeting my sweetheart for date night or cuddling on the couch watching a movie, I was calling it a night. Never had I expected this for this phase of my life. If it were up to me I would’ve been married, with 2.5 kids living in a house with a white picket fence. Instead, life had other plans for me…or I didn’t listen to my gut and instead decided to follow my heart. That led me so wrong…
This is probably my most vulnerable post to date. However, I’m being obedient and beginning to share my story. This is my story from my point of view. It is not pretty and from my perspective. I cannot share from the other party’s perspective but I honestly don’t care how he feels about MY story.
I am proud of the woman that I am and who I have become throughout this process. I realize that I made him an idol, one of my best friends and the first person whom I shared my wins/losses with, and to find out that I was an option was extremely painful. I’ve never been engaged, or married and here I am something I’ve never desired to be…a single mom of 2.
Seeing the truth for what it was…hearing all the “I told you so’s” from those close to me who supported me during my “crazy in love” phase. Grieving the life I imagined and never would have. Realizing the truth as it smacked me in the face while I was holding our 9-month-old son. I have to do this all over again…by myself??
He knew his situation. He knew he was married. He knew he had multiple others. Here I am, my choice was taken away and now I am left to live with the results of the choice that I made to stay and ignore the signs. I literally was shown that he was not the one for me, now was not the time, and that he wasn’t ready. But he said one thing, my heart felt another thing and even though I did not get all that I wanted and needed in the relationship, I settled. I did not want to have children with multiple fathers.
Now look at me…a single mom of 2. I thank God for the grace that he has given me to endure this phase of my life. I am thankful for my line sisters who let me cry, cheered me up, built me up, and didn’t let me stay down. I am thankful for the She Prays group who prayed for me, helped me to heal through deliverance, and taught me to forgive myself. They helped me to hear God through everything and discover and develop my spiritual gifts. Without the support of these women, I don’t know where I would be. I’m grateful to have had them during this phase of my life.
I am ready for love from a man that loves Christ, knows how to pray, and will seek diligently after God’s own heart as he leads our family. He will love me like the Queen that I am and will recognize and treat me as such. He will love my sons as his own and provide a Godly example for them to follow. I will do the same if he has any children. We will create a beautiful life for ourselves as we enter the best years of our life.
This evening I made a quick run to the grocery store. I grabbed a few things and rushed to the only full service line that was open that late. As I was about to go in the line, another woman tried to turn in before me. I let her go through as she seemed to be in a hurry like me.
As her groceries were being rung up, a quiet still voice told me to tell her that I got her. The cashier was so excited!! She was like man, this is the third time this happened in my line tonight. Praise God, let me find something to through up there jokingly.
The woman was of another culture and didn’t understand our “slang” so the cashier and I explained again that I would pay for her items. The cashier even suggested that I do it as a separate transaction so that she could get the receipt of purchase. The woman stood there in shock as we took over her transactions. She didn’t know what to do and could only get out Thank you and God bless you!
As my groceries were being rung up, I asked the cashier if she had a snack to help end her shift. She was like oh you’re trying to get all the blessings huh?? I shared with her part of my prayer request that day and said I appreciate it but I don’t want to hold the gentleman up behind you. What I want is on the candy aisle.
As she was ringing up the man behind me, I got behind him. No one came in the line behind me and I told her to go get her stuff. She laughed and said you’re trying to get all the blessings huh?
When she came back with her snack, I joked that she meant the Candy Candy aisle. And she has a big bag of jolly rancher candy. She looked so happy to be able to receive. I shared that she couldn’t be a witness to all the giving going on and not receive herself. She mentioned that you said you were trying to get a home, why are you spending extra money. I replied when God says move, I move. She said I know that’s right. She agreed with me in my prayer request and I left knowing I was obedient.
The last part of my instructions were to share my story here. I’m not posting to receive accolades or appreciation, rather sharing for encouraging for the next person to move on that crazy idea that comes or mind out of nowhere.
This afternoon, I prayed for supernatural favor in this housing market and everything surrounding it. This evening, I put my seed in the ground.
“The Lord answered, “If you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘May you be uprooted and be planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you!” Luke 17:6 NLT https://bible.com/bible/116/luk.17.6.NLT
When I moved to Atlanta in 2005, I had one plan and God had another. I didn’t know too many people, yet I knew of so many who lived here. My very first college roommate Tanja was here and helped me get started. We still to this day have the same primary care doctor, OBGYN and home church, The Way, Truth and the Life Christian Center. This is where I began the foundation of teaching and truly understanding really who Christ is.
I’ve always been a note-taker and from this have been in many positions because of it. I have so many journals from the notes taken at church that I can go back and share what God shared with me in those messages in many posts to come. Those messages got me through some really dark times and introduced me to some really influential people in my life.
I’ve never had a big sister, as the oldest of 4 (only girl with 3 younger brothers). This is where I met Michele (with one L) Scott. This woman was on fire for the Lord, a great confidant, listener, advice giver, and someone who I could talk to for hours. We just meshed well together. She eventually became one of my band parents as I taught 2 of her children in my band. She did a great job of distinguishing between Ms. Fogg and Monica. There were times where I had to be submitted to her when in choir rehearsals at church and then she was under my leadership when attending band parent meetings.
For her birthday in March of 2020, right before they shut everything down, Mrs. Michele invited a few women out to dinner for her birthday. At this dinner, we fellowshipped, laughed and she went around the table and spoke life into everyone that was there. She even paid for dinner for her birthday party!! It was a surprise, yet a true testament of who she is. From this party, she started the prayer group She Prays.
She Prays started as a 28 Day Prayer challenge. We bought or were gifted the book “The 28 Day Prayer Journey” https://www.amazon.com/28-Day-Prayer-Journey-Daily-Conversations/dp/0310361133 by Crystal Hurst. And from this challenge, my prayer life began to change. I still use the acronym for P.R.A.Y. (Praise, Repent, Ask, Yield) to guide my prayers. Each week there was a guided video posted by Crystal that was shared in our Zoom meetings and guided reading questions and prompts from the journal. This was a great time during the height of the pandemic to connect with like-minded women and grow closer to God.
In She Prays, sisters would post prayer requests, celebrations, encouragement, scriptures, inspiration, testimonies to help support. We have become a great support group for each other that continues strong until today. In the group, Mrs. Michele shared other groups or prayer challenges or classes that she was attending. This was for information purposes only, however many I chose to attend.
I’ve learned from Prophetess Carla Clark (https://www.lionsroarministries.org/prophetess) through Clubhouse “Using your Spiritual Gifts in the Marketplace” room. This room met every Monday Morning during the school year of 2020-21 and was a great way to learn how to use the gifting that God has given me on my job. I learned about what my spiritual gifts were and how to use them effectively. Mrs. Michele also shared a spiritual gifts test (https://gifts.churchgrowth.org/). My spiritual gifts are administration, exhortation, and teaching. As a teacher, I would’ve thought it was teaching, but that is further down the list. I’ve always found pleasure and ease in organizing things and this really made me understand more about myself.
Prophetess Carla, during her taglines on Clubhouse, mentioned that she was a part of the Kingdom Business Network. I was new to Clubhouse and found some fantastic rooms to follow. I looked up KBN and OMG!! These are my PEOPLE!! (https://www.clubhouse.com/club/kingdombusinessnetwork) This group is one of the largest Christian Entrepreneur Clubs on Clubhouse cofounded by Chanel E. Martin (https://www.instagram.com/chanelemartin/?hl=en) and Chandler Bailey (https://www.instagram.com/chandlersbailey/?hl=en). They have rooms daily and the network is only ONE year old with over 76K followers.
The room I attended most often was the Prophetic Planning for Your Day (PPFYD). There are teachings and then there are prompts that are given that encourage you to journal how you hear from God. Chanel encouraged you to write down what you see, hear, smell or the quiet still voice in your head. It would be in your voice, but was really the Holy Spirit speaking to you. I was extremely new to this, but during the prompts, it felt like I had been doing it all my life. I began to add this to my daily prayer routine in the mornings. I believe that adding this helped me get through one of what was supposed to be the toughest school years thus far. This is how I hear from God through the Holy Spirit the most, journaling or scribing. I am thankful to know about this gifting and plan to use it until God takes it away.
I also completed a number of YouVersion bible plans. I believed that I was healed from the trauma of my last relationship and was ready to begin dating, the right way. Somehow God heard my prayers, or maybe Siri, because this particular morning there were like 3-4 dating bible plans suggested for me to read. #RelationshipGoals by Pastor Mike Todd (https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/19260-relationship-goals) was everything!! It provided some tips for dating as a Christian or building up any relationship that I will share in future posts. If you are dating, I implore you to read the plan. At the end of the plan, the book that the plan was created after was suggested. I immediately went to Target that day and purchased the book. It was an easy read and filled with so much knowledge. (I know that I am ready to begin dating when God sees fit and that I will be able to receive what my future husband has for me. Until then, I am enjoying my singleness journey and who I am now.)
After reading the book, I wanted more. I searched for podcasts and discovered that there were youtube videos of the sermon series entitled #RelationshipGoals. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7h5BHax06c) During the pandemic, I binge-watched so many shows that I wish I had come across this series sooner. If you have never watched it, again I implore you to look at it. Even if you are married, it will help your relationship.
Pastor Mike’s messages are so relevant to me, encouraging, thought-provoking and, what I need at this stage in my life. His church is called Transformation Church and services are LITTTTT!!! Even though they are virtual, they are amazing. It feels like I’m standing in the building during their services. His sermon replays are podcasts as well if you are into those, but the youtube video replays bring it to life for me. I am a part of Transformation Nation (his online members) and watch his live services after my local church services end.
From being a part of Transformation Church, I felt the transformation begin in my life. Of where I was on my spiritual walk and how I’m transforming into being a powerful woman of God. Not like the ones that I saw growing up, which sometimes scared me, but into the one that God has called me to be. I am embracing my calling and gifting and all that God has for me. His plans are way better than the plans that I have for my life and I’m ready to receive all that he has for me. I hope you are too.
Thanks for reading and joining me on this transformation journey!!
This is my first post into what I have called Transforming Monica. In all honesty, I was almost done with the first post, when some last minute New Year Gun Celebrations scared my son and I and I hit restart on an update on my computer, instead of later. So those thoughts will come soon enough. That post was good too ya’ll!! I guess I’m learning about how to be a writer and the constant need to save. (I had autosave on the website, and it still disappeared…Go FIGURE!!)
Well this blog will be a catch all…some of my growth and development in my walk with Christ, teaching moments, inspirational moments and some transparency moments. I’m learning to be obedient and do what God instructs me to do and this is one of the first steps. I was supposed to post this early today, but delayed and now I’m rushing to beat the midnight deadline.
As I was listening to Pastor Mike Todd’s Transformation Church on my car ride back to Atlanta (Conyers, GA actually, but who really knows where Conyers is) one of the points the pastor gave in his Christmas message was “What are you going to name it?” We all go through seasons and times in our lives and we have to learn from them. Last year, I went through a journey, a spiritual one, a gleaning one, a tough one. I am enjoying the Woman I am evolving into and will use this blog to share this journey with you.
I hope that it inspires you, provokes thought and whatever purpose the Good Lord has with me writing and sharing. LOL
It’s 11:59 and I have yet to publish this post, so here goes…. Welcome to the new chapter of the story of my life. Enjoy the ride!
Tomorrow, I should be able to return to work after a 2-week hiatus. Hiatus, I wish. We caught Covid and 
s a lot. We have many rehearsals after school and football games almost every Friday during the fall. It’s hard for my colleagues who are married fathers. Many of them would comment after they had children that they didn’t know how I did it. I really didn’t know what they meant, eventually, I understood. A few of them have left teaching high school band in order to spend time with their children. Stepping down as a high school director may have been easier for me, but it wasn’t an option that I really looked into. I did what many single moms do each day and made it work. So as a single mom…it is only by God’s grace that I am able to continue to do the work that I do.
have summer band camp. Then comes, Ms. Shealy who watched Myles for me so that I could stay late for band practices and parent meetings. I am still close with her family and had the honor of having her great niece in my band for four years. Next, enter Ms. Tonya who watched Myles for me in her Aunt’s home daycare. After practice and on game days, I would bring Darius home and pick up Myles. Mrs. Candi watched Myles next and kept him for me late nights and during football games and sometimes even watched him so that I could have some Monica time. I had the opportunity to teach both of her sons at Arabia Mountain and she served on the executive boa
Broken promises of visits that never happened. Or when the visits did happen, they were in the company of other women, their children, and sometimes his wife. His family would also step in when he asked, but he tried to handle it on his own. After all, this light-skinned version of himself was not fully claimed as his son until about 4 years ago. He’s 14. I vividly remember a time that I depended on him, looking out onto the balcony of my hotel room in Chicago while attending the Midwest Band and Orchestra Clinic in a conversation checking on my son. I wanted to talk to him, but couldn’t. Why? Because he had a gig and asked one of his female friends that happened to be a nanny to watch my child. Someone whom I did not know and did not even know that was the plan had my baby. I was LIVID. But was told, you have to trust me and trust that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt our child. 
Transforming Monica 