Yesterday, I had a little pity party before I got ready for bed.  It was almost 9 pm on a Saturday night and instead of going out to meet my girls for dinner, movie night, or meeting my sweetheart for date night or cuddling on the couch watching a movie, I was calling it a night.  Never had I expected this for this phase of my life.  If it were up to me I would’ve been married, with 2.5 kids living in a house with a white picket fence.  Instead, life had other plans for me…or I didn’t listen to my gut and instead decided to follow my heart.  That led me so wrong…

This is probably my most vulnerable post to date.  However, I’m being obedient and beginning to share my story.  This is my story from my point of view.  It is not pretty and from my perspective.  I cannot share from the other party’s perspective but I honestly don’t care how he feels about MY story.

I am proud of the woman that I am and who I have become throughout this process.  I realize that I made him an idol, one of my best friends and the first person whom I shared my wins/losses with, and to find out that I was an option was extremely painful.  I’ve never been engaged, or married and here I am something I’ve never desired to be…a single mom of 2.

Seeing the truth for what it was…hearing all the “I told you so’s” from those close to me who supported me during my “crazy in love” phase.  Grieving the life I imagined and never would have.  Realizing the truth as it smacked me in the face while I was holding our 9-month-old son.  I have to do this all over again…by myself??

He knew his situation.  He knew he was married.  He knew he had multiple others.  Here I am, my choice was taken away and now I am left to live with the results of the choice that I made to stay and ignore the signs.  I literally was shown that he was not the one for me, now was not the time, and that he wasn’t ready.  But he said one thing, my heart felt another thing and even though I did not get all that I wanted and needed in the relationship, I settled.  I did not want to have children with multiple fathers.

Now look at me…a single mom of 2.  I thank God for the grace that he has given me to endure this phase of my life.  I am thankful for my line sisters who let me cry, cheered me up, built me up, and didn’t let me stay down.  I am thankful for the She Prays group who prayed for me, helped me to heal through deliverance, and taught me to forgive myself.  They helped me to hear God through everything and discover and develop my spiritual gifts.  Without the support of these women, I don’t know where I would be.  I’m grateful to have had them during this phase of my life.

I am ready for love from a man that loves Christ, knows how to pray, and will seek diligently after God’s own heart as he leads our family.  He will love me like the Queen that I am and will recognize and treat me as such.  He will love my sons as his own and provide a Godly example for them to follow.  I will do the same if he has any children.  We will create a beautiful life for ourselves as we enter the best years of our life. 

This evening I made a quick run to the grocery store. I grabbed a few things and rushed to the only full service line that was open that late. As I was about to go in the line, another woman tried to turn in before me. I let her go through as she seemed to be in a hurry like me.

As her groceries were being rung up, a quiet still voice told me to tell her that I got her. The cashier was so excited!! She was like man, this is the third time this happened in my line tonight. Praise God, let me find something to through up there jokingly.

The woman was of another culture and didn’t understand our “slang” so the cashier and I explained again that I would pay for her items. The cashier even suggested that I do it as a separate transaction so that she could get the receipt of purchase. The woman stood there in shock as we took over her transactions. She didn’t know what to do and could only get out Thank you and God bless you!

As my groceries were being rung up, I asked the cashier if she had a snack to help end her shift. She was like oh you’re trying to get all the blessings huh?? I shared with her part of my prayer request that day and said I appreciate it but I don’t want to hold the gentleman up behind you. What I want is on the candy aisle.

As she was ringing up the man behind me, I got behind him. No one came in the line behind me and I told her to go get her stuff. She laughed and said you’re trying to get all the blessings huh?

When she came back with her snack, I joked that she meant the Candy Candy aisle. And she has a big bag of jolly rancher candy. She looked so happy to be able to receive. I shared that she couldn’t be a witness to all the giving going on and not receive herself. She mentioned that you said you were trying to get a home, why are you spending extra money. I replied when God says move, I move. She said I know that’s right. She agreed with me in my prayer request and I left knowing I was obedient.

The last part of my instructions were to share my story here. I’m not posting to receive accolades or appreciation, rather sharing for encouraging for the next person to move on that crazy idea that comes or mind out of nowhere.

This afternoon, I prayed for supernatural favor in this housing market and everything surrounding it. This evening, I put my seed in the ground.

“The Lord answered, “If you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘May you be uprooted and be planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you!”
‭‭Luke‬ ‭17:6‬ ‭NLT‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/116/luk.17.6.NLT

https://youtu.be/CxKm_ZJfofA

Be encouraged Fam.

Nae

When I moved to Atlanta in 2005, I had one plan and God had another. I didn’t know too many people, yet I knew of so many who lived here. My very first college roommate Tanja was here and helped me get started. We still to this day have the same primary care doctor, OBGYN and home church, The Way, Truth and the Life Christian Center. This is where I began the foundation of teaching and truly understanding really who Christ is.

I’ve always been a note-taker and from this have been in many positions because of it. I have so many journals from the notes taken at church that I can go back and share what God shared with me in those messages in many posts to come. Those messages got me through some really dark times and introduced me to some really influential people in my life.

I’ve never had a big sister, as the oldest of 4 (only girl with 3 younger brothers). This is where I met Michele (with one L) Scott. This woman was on fire for the Lord, a great confidant, listener, advice giver, and someone who I could talk to for hours. We just meshed well together. She eventually became one of my band parents as I taught 2 of her children in my band. She did a great job of distinguishing between Ms. Fogg and Monica. There were times where I had to be submitted to her when in choir rehearsals at church and then she was under my leadership when attending band parent meetings.

For her birthday in March of 2020, right before they shut everything down, Mrs. Michele invited a few women out to dinner for her birthday. At this dinner, we fellowshipped, laughed and she went around the table and spoke life into everyone that was there. She even paid for dinner for her birthday party!! It was a surprise, yet a true testament of who she is. From this party, she started the prayer group She Prays.

She Prays started as a 28 Day Prayer challenge. We bought or were gifted the book “The 28 Day Prayer Journey” https://www.amazon.com/28-Day-Prayer-Journey-Daily-Conversations/dp/0310361133 by Crystal Hurst. And from this challenge, my prayer life began to change. I still use the acronym for P.R.A.Y. (Praise, Repent, Ask, Yield) to guide my prayers. Each week there was a guided video posted by Crystal that was shared in our Zoom meetings and guided reading questions and prompts from the journal. This was a great time during the height of the pandemic to connect with like-minded women and grow closer to God.

In She Prays, sisters would post prayer requests, celebrations, encouragement, scriptures, inspiration, testimonies to help support. We have become a great support group for each other that continues strong until today. In the group, Mrs. Michele shared other groups or prayer challenges or classes that she was attending. This was for information purposes only, however many I chose to attend.

I’ve learned from Prophetess Carla Clark (https://www.lionsroarministries.org/prophetess) through Clubhouse “Using your Spiritual Gifts in the Marketplace” room. This room met every Monday Morning during the school year of 2020-21 and was a great way to learn how to use the gifting that God has given me on my job. I learned about what my spiritual gifts were and how to use them effectively. Mrs. Michele also shared a spiritual gifts test (https://gifts.churchgrowth.org/). My spiritual gifts are administration, exhortation, and teaching. As a teacher, I would’ve thought it was teaching, but that is further down the list. I’ve always found pleasure and ease in organizing things and this really made me understand more about myself.

Prophetess Carla, during her taglines on Clubhouse, mentioned that she was a part of the Kingdom Business Network. I was new to Clubhouse and found some fantastic rooms to follow. I looked up KBN and OMG!! These are my PEOPLE!! (https://www.clubhouse.com/club/kingdombusinessnetwork) This group is one of the largest Christian Entrepreneur Clubs on Clubhouse cofounded by Chanel E. Martin (https://www.instagram.com/chanelemartin/?hl=en) and Chandler Bailey (https://www.instagram.com/chandlersbailey/?hl=en). They have rooms daily and the network is only ONE year old with over 76K followers.

The room I attended most often was the Prophetic Planning for Your Day (PPFYD). There are teachings and then there are prompts that are given that encourage you to journal how you hear from God. Chanel encouraged you to write down what you see, hear, smell or the quiet still voice in your head. It would be in your voice, but was really the Holy Spirit speaking to you. I was extremely new to this, but during the prompts, it felt like I had been doing it all my life. I began to add this to my daily prayer routine in the mornings. I believe that adding this helped me get through one of what was supposed to be the toughest school years thus far. This is how I hear from God through the Holy Spirit the most, journaling or scribing. I am thankful to know about this gifting and plan to use it until God takes it away.

I also completed a number of YouVersion bible plans. I believed that I was healed from the trauma of my last relationship and was ready to begin dating, the right way. Somehow God heard my prayers, or maybe Siri, because this particular morning there were like 3-4 dating bible plans suggested for me to read. #RelationshipGoals by Pastor Mike Todd (https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/19260-relationship-goals) was everything!! It provided some tips for dating as a Christian or building up any relationship that I will share in future posts. If you are dating, I implore you to read the plan. At the end of the plan, the book that the plan was created after was suggested. I immediately went to Target that day and purchased the book. It was an easy read and filled with so much knowledge. (I know that I am ready to begin dating when God sees fit and that I will be able to receive what my future husband has for me. Until then, I am enjoying my singleness journey and who I am now.)

After reading the book, I wanted more. I searched for podcasts and discovered that there were youtube videos of the sermon series entitled #RelationshipGoals. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7h5BHax06c) During the pandemic, I binge-watched so many shows that I wish I had come across this series sooner. If you have never watched it, again I implore you to look at it. Even if you are married, it will help your relationship.

Pastor Mike’s messages are so relevant to me, encouraging, thought-provoking and, what I need at this stage in my life. His church is called Transformation Church and services are LITTTTT!!! Even though they are virtual, they are amazing. It feels like I’m standing in the building during their services. His sermon replays are podcasts as well if you are into those, but the youtube video replays bring it to life for me. I am a part of Transformation Nation (his online members) and watch his live services after my local church services end.

From being a part of Transformation Church, I felt the transformation begin in my life. Of where I was on my spiritual walk and how I’m transforming into being a powerful woman of God. Not like the ones that I saw growing up, which sometimes scared me, but into the one that God has called me to be. I am embracing my calling and gifting and all that God has for me. His plans are way better than the plans that I have for my life and I’m ready to receive all that he has for me. I hope you are too.

Thanks for reading and joining me on this transformation journey!!

This is my first post into what I have called Transforming Monica. In all honesty, I was almost done with the first post, when some last minute New Year Gun Celebrations scared my son and I and I hit restart on an update on my computer, instead of later. So those thoughts will come soon enough. That post was good too ya’ll!! I guess I’m learning about how to be a writer and the constant need to save. (I had autosave on the website, and it still disappeared…Go FIGURE!!)

Well this blog will be a catch all…some of my growth and development in my walk with Christ, teaching moments, inspirational moments and some transparency moments. I’m learning to be obedient and do what God instructs me to do and this is one of the first steps. I was supposed to post this early today, but delayed and now I’m rushing to beat the midnight deadline.

As I was listening to Pastor Mike Todd’s Transformation Church on my car ride back to Atlanta (Conyers, GA actually, but who really knows where Conyers is) one of the points the pastor gave in his Christmas message was “What are you going to name it?” We all go through seasons and times in our lives and we have to learn from them. Last year, I went through a journey, a spiritual one, a gleaning one, a tough one. I am enjoying the Woman I am evolving into and will use this blog to share this journey with you.

I hope that it inspires you, provokes thought and whatever purpose the Good Lord has with me writing and sharing. LOL

It’s 11:59 and I have yet to publish this post, so here goes…. Welcome to the new chapter of the story of my life. Enjoy the ride!